STACK #216 October 2022
GAMING FEATURE
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THE WINGER Learned from the days of Sensible Soccer and never forgotten, the winger does exactly what it says on the box – sprints down the wings and sends over an endless barrage of crosses. The law of averages suggests that one of the strikers will eventually find the back of the net, either with a well-placed header or a smashing volley. THE BAD-TEMPERED It doesn’t take long. Score two in a row and watch the volcano erupt. The angry FIFA player simply cannot control their rage. Whether verbal or physical outbursts, when you know you’re playing the angry gamer the odds are stacked in your favour. Just keep applying the pressure and watch it unravel before you. If played online, they’ll rage quit right at the end of the game, depriving you of victory. THE EXCUSE MAKER The excuse maker isn’t just localised to FIFA – you’ll find this one in any competitive gaming arena. Deliver a spanking to this bad boy, and watch the excuses start flowing: “I don’t play this on PS5.” “I’m not used to the Xbox controller.” “The last time I played FIFA was on the PlayStation.” “I’m more of a PES player, to be honest.” No, you’re just toilet. IT’S GO TIME! With the transition to EA Sports FC next year, we take a quick look at some key events in FIFA’s incredible 29-year history. 1993 EA Sports releases FIFA International Soccer . It’s an instant success. 1996 FIFA 96 is the first title to use real players’ names. 1996 Commentary is added to FIFA 97 . 1997 EA Sports secure the World Cup rights and release FIFA: Road to World Cup 98 . 1997 Music is introduced for the first time, with Blur’s Song 2 added to FIFA: Road to World Cup 98 . 2000 FIFA 2001 on PC was the first FIFA game that could be played online. 2007 The A-League is added to FIFA 08 . 2008 FIFA Ultimate Team (FUT) was added to FIFA 09 as a downloadable expansion. 2015 Female national teams are added for the first time in FIFA 16 . 2016 The Frostbite Engine is introduced to FIFA 17 . 2016 A story mode, entitled The Journey , is introduced in FIFA 17 .
Here at STACK , we’ve been playing FIFA for thousands of years. Well OK, 29.With all that experience comes an understanding of the different types of FIFA players, and we’ve categorised them under the following stereotypes.Where do you sit? Words Paul Jones WHAT SORT OF FIFA PLAYER ARE YOU?
THE NOOB No one likes to play a noob. Watch on in amazement as they passionately surge towards their own goal, trying to score. Or, when they do establish which way they’re supposed to be facing, sit back and marvel as they play a through ball to a player who’s four metres offside and shout, “Come on, ref!”. Refuse to play a noob at all costs – let someone else carry the burden of their FIFA education. THE PROFESSIONAL We’ve all played the professional. The professional only plays FIFA and has honed their skills, learned all the formulas, and understands the strengths and weaknesses of individual players. These players will systematically destroy you in a jaw-dropping exhibition, utilising moves and skills on the pitch that you never knew existed. It’s a chastising experience. THE PLAYER Three minutes into the game, you’re three-nil down but, before you know it, you’ve managed to pull three back, and you whisper to yourself, “I can win this!”. Within seconds, the player clinically slots not one but two past you to win the game. You’ve been had. The player will give you hope and keep you interested by letting you get level before leaving that hope to die.
THE TACTICIAN The tactician spends excessive time setting up their game, flipping through 20 different formations, deploying tactics, and assigning roles. During the game itself, they incessantly pause the match at critical times to monitor player energy levels, make substitutions, and change formations. Tacticians are the most likely type of FIFA player to wear a controller. THE TACKLER We’ve all played the tackler. Their skills consist of pulling down the sprint trigger for the game's duration and then unleashing sweeping tackle after sweeping tackle, picking up a score of yellow cards in the process, and eventually a red. They’re a pain to play but are easy to beat.
• FIFA 23 is out now
OCTOBER 2022
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